What I've Learned So Far in Prague... Lessons on living :)
I published my last travel blog on here in January, and decided to take a mini break after that. The purpose: to set a semi stable foundation on which I could have the most productive of experiences. Consequently, the only way I could figure out how to do that was to allow myself about 2-3 months of adjusting, thinking, exploring, and most importantly learning.
Below are the 7 most important lessons i have picked up thus far.
On loneliness vs being alone
For 25 years, I have always had either a parent, or friend nearby. In moving to Prague… I knew that wasn’t going to be the case. At a time when the world seems to be crumbling around us, it felt counterintuitive to want to tackle it by myself. The reassuring feeling to these worries is one alluded to in this essay by a former Yale student on the opposite of loneliness. At the conclusion, she summarizes the opposite of feeling lonely as a connection felt to others (near or far) that is not quite describable. And during my time here in Prague, this is the very intangible resource I have tapped into. Acquaintances/family friends have now become loved ones on speed dial, and co-workers have become a mini encyclopedia on the country/city. Though I am alone… I rarely feel lonely.
On courage :
This one is the lesson/gift that keeps giving. I feel like just when I think i have mastered enough courage for a lifetime by overcoming a fear of going to the grocery store by myself, or pushing myself to walk more, make friends, navigate the postal service, speak up in lab… another day brings another challenge.
As you can see from this list, these tasks are ones that one might not give a second thought. For instance… going to the grocery store in the US for me was second nature. However, upon moving here it provoked a little fear due to the language barrier and fear of creating a scene if something goes wrong. To address this, I told my self to jump head first into the deep end. Go anyway, speak anyway, ask anyway, walk anyway. And pushing myself to be courageous in these little tasks led to more confidence when it came to accomplishing tasks in the lab or for school and work. Also keeping track of my progress and rewarding myself when appropriate allowed me to build rapport with myself and to discover the joy of being outside of my comfort zone (as cliche as it sounds).
On difficult conversations
Have them. Better to have a difficult conversation than feel unheard/ or confused!
On identity
In life we all want to be seen for who we think we are. To have that stripped away whether it be through stereotypes, ignorance, miscommunication, or etc is very painful. This has been true not only for my own experiences, but is a common theme I hear from talking to co-workers, and new friends here in Prague.
On relationships
Where to start! A majority of the relationships I have formed here have been with the intention of friendship. The rest, just have to do with the day to day tasks associated with meeting my goals (so at work or with a landlord etc). The overwhelming thread of commonality is cultural differences.
However, I have found that the relationships that acknowledge these and seek to proceed with an open mind have been the most fruitful. The catch ….open mindedness is SUCH a learning curve! It’s like a weirdly choreographed hip hop routine with a severely uptempo song and tons of crazy footwork.
As Saramago said “in matters of feeling and heart, too much is always better than too little”. Checking in with myself and dancing away has led to some pretty awesome friendships so far.
On responsibility
Blasting a motivational video on Youtube 3 minutes after waking up is the best way to set my intentions and assume responsibility for my day each morning. That’s all I have for now on this one :P
On diplomacy
This point kinda ties everything in. Diplomacy is defined as “ of, relating to, or concerned with the art and practice of conducting negotiations between nations :employing tact and conciliation especially in situations of stress”.
Although typically used to define political relations which is certainly also applicable here, establishing relations with people and institutions in a foreign place requires diplomacy.
For this point I have learnt… more often than not… the core of being diplomatic is to simply be empathetic. To learn to listen instead of speak. To see that there are multiple lenses than just your own.
As I complete my Fulbright, I hope to keep learning. Perhaps in a few months from now, my gospel might be the same or different.
Nevertheless, as challenging as it is sometimes, I am happy to keep learning and growing.
xoxo,
BT
